July 31, 2010

• Our relationship with God

  We use the expression that we are in a relationship, the expression makes it sound like being in a dwelling, like I am in a house or I am in an apartment.  I think the comparison is a valid one.  Some of our relationships a like a house, some are like an apartment, and some are like a hotel room, and I suppose some are even like a homeless shelter.  Some relationships are long term and enduring like the commitment one makes when one buys a home.  Just like home ownership, long term relationships require maintenance.  You have to be vigilant about cracks in the foundation, you have to watch out for infestations that weaken the structure, and you have to take care of the furnace so it will continue to produce heat.  Unfortunately we sometimes treat our long term relationships more like a condominium than a house.  We expect someone else to do all the work to maintain the relationship.  We want to have the relationship and still be free to do whatever we want.  Other relationships are more like apartments.  We need the relationship for a limited period of time and then we will move onto other relationships that are better suited to meet our needs.  I had the opportunity to spend time with some of my classmates from forty years ago and I realized some of those friends and I have matured in very different ways and we would probably not choose to be friends now.  I also have connected with classmates I had little in common with in high school that I now very much value their friendship.  There is nothing inherently wrong with apartment living, it is good for the season and purpose and there is nothing wrong with friendships that we out grow.  I used to worry about friends I lost track of over time and I still do miss some of the people that once were very important in my life but I also realize we have both moved on and the value of the friendship is now the memory of what was.  I think the important thing is we treat the apartment relationship with the same care while we are in it that we would give to a home relationship we intend to keep for a long time.  Some people trash apartments because they see no reason to invest in the upkeep of a place that is just temporary and they are bad tenants just like people who trash their relationships are bad friends.  And some relationships are like a hotel room.  We meet the person at a time of critical need and the relationship provides us a safe place for a short period of time.  I think of my role as a social worker at the hospital as being like a hotel friendship.  I made very intense connections with families for short periods of time.  We shared intimate and critical information with each other and felt very close and then it was time to move on.  I have been blessed with people who have been motel friends for me and I know there were times in my life that I could not have gone on without them and yet we have no connections with each other now.  And sometimes a relationship can be very much like a homeless shelter; we don’t spend time selecting the person, we don’t even want to know a great deal about them or look too closely at them or have them look to closely at us, we just need to know we are not alone.  I think these are the relationships we have when we call a crisis line, or when we strike up a conversation with a total stranger just to hear a voice and know someone else hears us.  Homeless shelter friendships aren’t what most of us seek out, but they serve their purpose and often times they can be the difference between life and death.  Each type of relationship serves its purpose and it is important we understand what we are seeking when we enter into a relationship.  There is great potential for hurt when we are seeking a homeless shelter and the other person wants to be our house.  The best way for our relationships with others to be mutually satisfying is when we have clear communication on what it is we are seeking and what we are prepared to offer in the relationship.  We really need to speak plainly and directly to each other.

   

  We also need to be clear about what kind of relationship we want to have with God.  The choices are pretty much the same as the choices we have for relationships with each other.  Most of us would probably say we want our relationship with God to be like home ownership but we most often act like we are looking for a rental, hotel, or homeless shelter relationship.  Very often people turn to God in desperation, like a homeless shelter.  They have done anything to make sure God would be there when they are in crisis and they don’t plan to stay connected with God once the crisis is over.  They turn to God, ask God to help them out, make promises to stay in touch but go back to running their life their own way once the crisis is over.  They may even deny they used or needed God once they are back on their feet.  God is there for us when we turn to God in crisis but God would much prefer we used God to be prepared to survive the crises that will surely come in our lives.  Some of us might best be described as using God like a hotel home.  We anticipate the points in our lives when it would be good to have God on our side so we make some contacts with God to make sure of availability and even make some commitments to hold our space with God.  Maybe we join a church so we know there will be a place for our wedding, baptisms, and funeral.  Maybe we attend some services and classes just to get acquainted with God for the times when we are going to need a spiritual haven.  Maybe the majority of us prefer a rental arrangement with God.  We spend a lot of time with God, we put care into finding God space that works well with our lives but we are also free to pick up and move to another arrangement if this one starts to feel too confining or if we don’t like the neighbors that move into the area around us.  We may even want to keep our options open in case we are introduced to a different god that we like better or that doesn’t require as much from us.  I believe God accepts being our spiritual apartment, our holy vacation spot, and theological shelter but I believe God most desires to be our divine dwelling for all times.

   

  I believe God becomes impatient when we don’t make the commitment necessary to dwell fully in God.  God became impatient with Israel and Judah because they were fickle and ran off with other gods and forgot the covenant they had with YHWH.  God becomes impatient with us when we treat God as less than our permanent dwelling place.  God wants us to treat our relationship with God like we would a home we intended to inhabit for the rest of our lives.  We should examine the foundations and go back regularly to make sure nothing is weakening the foundation of our relationship with God.  We should be intimately familiar with the systems within our relationship what heats us up and what cools us down and how to we repair the system when we no longer feel the heat of our passion for God or when we can no longer cool our temper or are anger.  We need to know what keeps the light on in our relationship.  Are their areas of our relationship that have been plunged into darkness?  God wants light to shine on all or our life, not part kept in darkness.  We need to know if there are leaks in our relationship that are letting things into our lives that don’t belong there, things that will eventually damage our relationship with God, maybe even eventually make our habitation with God impossible.  And we need to be concerned about the neighborhood we are living in, are the things we need to do to help our neighbors?  Are their problems in the neighborhood that need to be addressed?  We need to see our relationship to God as not only a commitment to being fully present in God but also allowing God to make us fully present with all of creation.  I know God will be there when I need shelter, when I need a safe place and it is my prayer that I will make God my dwelling place in all times.  Amen.

  • 8:52 pm
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